We are remarkably good at knowing what we don't want. We don't want to feel stuck. We don't want that conversation to go badly again. We don't want to keep repeating the same patterns. And yet, the more energy we pour into what we don't want, the more of it we seem to get.

The brain doesn't process negation well. Tell it not to look for red cars, and red cars are suddenly everywhere. The same is true of our fears, frustrations, and don't wants — the more we focus on them, the more our attention, decisions, and energy organize around them.

In this lab we practice redirecting that energy. Not by suppressing what we don't want, but by getting specific about what we do. With the help of others, we uncover what we're actually aiming for — and leave with something more useful than a goal: a clear intent, and the feeling of already moving toward it.

It’s up to us to do this. We don't have to do it alone.